mkell755
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Hi John, very nice! Very good clarity and nice variation of tone throughout. I like how no-nonsense and informative the read was. A tiny little critique is that I did not hear any pause after “…and tendons less flexible -“, which would emphasize that more rest may not be a good thing. Other than that, it sounded really good! Keep it up!
Mary
Hi Katelyn, that was great! I think it totally sounds serious when needed but also playful and sassy. I could hear the lightness and smile in your voice – really nice work! 🙂
Mary
Hi all! Here is one script recorded twice, which do you prefer? Trying to gage the appropriate pace for this script – it seems serious and thoughtful which would suggest slower to me, but not too slow so as to lose the listener’s interest. If you hear thunderstorms in the background, that was intentional! 🙂 Thanks!
Duluth – un 9 to 5ers
These are the blind faithful visionaries.
The hard-headed architects of adventure.
The dripping with drive, forward-thinking “un 9 to 5ers”.
They don’t take the road less-traveled, they forge their own roads.
They dream wildly.
They make bravely.
They build boundlessly.
These are the way-forgers.
This is how they forge their way.
Duluthtrading.comHi Mitch, thanks for the feedback! I agree about some of the script being stiff, and I like your suggestion about rewriting parts of it to make it more of a conversation you would actually have with a friend or maybe a relative that you don’t see often enough to know if they are taking care of themselves or not. It’s fun to do lead-ins; it has really helped me to hone in on the specific intended audience. Thanks again!
Mary
I completely understand. It sounds more natural to say “the trip ya have to take” vs/ “you have to take”, definitely. I get the criticism that I say “ta” instead of “to” and “fer” instead of “for”, and it’s difficult to say in some scripts! Someone here posted a while back that they substitute 2 for to, and 4 for for in the scripts as they read them as a reminder, and I have started doing that too; really draws your focus to those tiny pesky connector words as you are performing the script! 🙂
Hi KBridges! Good work! I’m agreeing with others on the volume being low, and speeding it up just a little would be good too to keep kid’s attention. For the list of items “…so we can grow, play, dance, run, study, and think.” the tone started high and just kept getting higher, so maybe more variation but up and down in tone in that list? Hopefully that makes sense. I like it, keep it up!
Mary
Hi Lexi, great job! I really like your deep, clear and richly-textured voice. It sounds warm and reassuring and this is a great genre for you. I’m not fully set up in my studio, but I heard a breath taken at the very beginning and again before “This presentation…”, perhaps those could be edited out. I agree with Kevin about your pronunciation of Social in that it could be a little crisper / clearer each time it is said. Otherwise really good job!
Mary
Hi Mitch, welcome!
Good job! I liked the energy, clarity and pacing. “Turn the trip you have to take…” sounded like “Turn the trip ya have to take..”; not sure if the “ya” was intentional, but just a small note to consider. Otherwise very good! Your voice sounds good for this genre. Keep it up!
Mary
Hi Irvj – wow, very nice! Your voice is so nice, deep, warm and so pleasant! Your voice is really well-suited for this genre. Emphasizing and slowing down over “skip through until you find” would help the listener understand why the featured product “Premium” will be such an upgrade to what they have now. Very good job!
Mary
Hi Svenbot, good read! I heard a tiny pause after “…we nourish them” and also after “Because today” where there was no comma. It might flow better and make more sense if those pauses were removed in my opinion. I liked the emphasis on “Carnation Breakfast Essentials”. Overall very good! I am being picky.
Mary
