Feedback Forum

[Mike Reddy]

Greetings everyone! This is my first post to the forum and I’ve attached my Narration Script homework from my first coaching session and due by my second. I look forward to any and all feedback from the community.

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[tojo44]

Hi all! Posting my homework before my next coaching session.

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[Esandyii]

Happy Monday and Happy New Year! Attached is Homework for Bruder for this week.
Comments welcome.
Best,
ES

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[iSynge]

Hello! I’m uploading these recordings here for feedback before my next coaching session (I actually have another couple I was thinking of recording, but I didn’t have time to do them today)

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[1stassi]

Hi Synge,

I’m really tasting the pineapples on the your Freshii recording!
Your voice is so inviting.

[1stassi]

Hi guys
I hope I’m doing okay. I’m on my 4 session
Here are two recordings I did for homework. Let me know what you think.

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[airbear57]

Hi,

Your reads were really great 🙂

Motel 6: Your comedic timing was impeccable throughout! One potential suggestion I have would be: Lean into/give a little more emphasis on the first’ Motel 6.’ so listeners know and remember who the commercial is for. Other than that, great job!

Pizza Hut:: I really felt your excitement and you kept it throughout the take which I thought was great! That being said, one suggestion I have would be to maybe vary the pace of the read, especially in the middle around “the ultimate 2 for 1” and “the mozzarella poppers pizza,” that way you can speed up again when you tell them to hurry before it’s gone. Also not sure if you were looking for any editing suggestions, but I would remove the deep breath at the beginning, as it was a little distracting. Otherwise, great job!

[1stassi]

Thank you @airbear57
I appreciate the suggestions and will take that into account.

[SteveVO]

If you’ve ever wondered how to play what’s called a “flam” in drumming, take a listen to this script. Let me know what you think. Thanks,Steve.

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[Mark.OD]

The Gomorrah piece VO is very effective. Pace and tone were perfect. The music overpowered the spot somewhat. Effective pacing on the hockey spots, especially the first one, but again I thought the background was a bit overpowering/ distracting. Nice variation in VO between the two pieces.

[SteveVO]

One more for this evening – an intro into a story about Hemingway. Thanks for any feedback.

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[airbear57]

Hi everyone,

I hope you all had a wonderful New Years!

I have attached a practice commercial take, and I would appreciate any feedback 🙂

Visit Winston-Salem
Winston-Salem, North Carolina is a city with a rich history of reinventing itself. Here you can wine and dine back in time. Or raise a glass to the future. That’s why you’ll love visiting Winston-Salem. Our past is present. Our future is bright. And our city is yours to explore. Look forward. Travel back to Winston-Salem.

Thanks so much,
Arin

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[Garprocks]

Hi Arin! I think your pace is excellent and your voice very natural. My constructive criticism is that I feel like you used a comma instead of a period after “back in time” and I would suggest that “Look forward” be more of an affirmative statement and having your voice drop on “travel back”, rather than rise up. Have a Blessed day!

[Luis Ortiz Jr.]

Hello all! Testing new mic and pre.. still concerned I haven’t totally controlled the rooms sound. Please let me know. Any feedback is appreciated.

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