Feedback Forum

[LindsayCampbell]

Hi All- here are some narration scripts for critique!

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[nicolance]

Hello Lindsay – all of your samples have a conversational and natural – believable! – quality – WOW! I am guessing you have some acting training? You seem to be “hurrying” the copy. Slow down a bit and think about the person you are talking to – and who you are. In all of the samples, there are key words or phrases that you may have hit differently depending on character. Your plastic sample is a bit slower in pace than the other three, and your character seems more developed. That one is a winner! Keep at it – Lance

[Joel]

Lindsay, you have terrific voices! And that is plural on purpose. It almost seems like you have distinctive high register and low registers to your voice. Depending on the copy, I wonder if you want to stick to a lower kind of voice or combine the two when needed.

[Cheechman]

Do you utilize a pop filter?

The S sound is very strong.

Other than that, I think all sounded pretty good!

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[Thomas_D]

Hey Lindsay, agreed with Nicolance as well re: the acting training! What I like the most about your voices is that they all sound believable, like you really have internalized each of the scripts. I actually like Beaver Creek and Depreciation the best, even though they were a bit faster than the Ulta and Plastic. The latter felt a bit too slow, but not to the point of being unbelievable. Maybe they sounded less conversational?

[Cheechman]

The attached ae submitted for feedback for my demo class.
Any and all comments are appreciated

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[Cheechman]

This one has different styles.
Personally, I like the 3rd one best.

Let me know

Thanks

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[Gill]

I like the third one as well you lifted this script and made it entertaining in your own style.

[Cheechman]

Thanks

[Cheechman]

This is the last one required for my homework.
I appreciate all your patience listening to me read.

Moving on to class #2!

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[RoxyMel]

Sounds very smooth and I love your voice quality. If I had to give constructive feedback I would say maybe a little more variation in accentuating or highlighting parts of the copy 😉

[iSynge]

Hey everyone! I’d like feedback on a couple of recordings I’ve been using to practice. Thank you for your time!

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[LindsayCampbell]

Hi! I thought these were both pretty good, natural sounding reads! I would say pay attention to your brand, though. Excedrin was not pronounced correctly. Listen to a commercial of theirs if you aren’t sure! should be exCEDrin. (as opposed to EXcedrin) Definitely wouldn’t want to mess this up in an audition 🙂

[Tracy]

Hi there Feedback Forum –

Looking for feedback on two short scripts. Thanks in advance for your time.

Tracy

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[JoyceVOA]

MathPSA – You sound as if you are reading copy. I didn’t hear any emotion in your voice. I thought your pace and diction were great.

[Gill]

Hi Tracy,
I think both of your reads are good with pace and diction. I don’t think it sounds read, I think your tone might be a little strong for clearair but I can see that you are making it more of a serious read given the topic. The only thing I would pay attention to is enunciation on both and where you’re giving emphasis.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 1 month ago by Gill.

[Tracy]

Much appreciation on the feedback. I will redo and repost keeping your suggestions in mind.

[LindsayCampbell]

Hi! Good job! I think they do sound a little “read” with a few unnatural pauses- between toxic and chemicals is a good example. Your pace is great, diction is great, and I think you nailed the attitude appropriate for the copy. I would imagine talking to a real person in your real life while reading these to help sound more conversational. Even use a lead-in: start your recording out by pretending you are talking to a real person, out loud, before the copy starts to get the feeling in your mind/body. You can edit that part out later! It has helped me a bunch. 😊

[mir19800]

Hi Tracy,
Both copies sound as if you were reading, a little choppy, because of the micro pauses.

[JoyceVOA]

Does my read sound conversational? How is my diction?

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[Gill]

Hi
I remembered your first read and yes you’re headed in the right direction. The beginning sounds alittle read but as you get towards the end you seem more relax and that sounds more conversational so just be more relaxed with your reads. Your diction seems clear to me. Keep it up!

[Tracy]

Overall I would say the pacing is good and it sounds relaxed but a bit choppy. Towards the ends of your sentences/pauses, your volume also decreases so some of the words are a bit swallowed.

[JoyceVOA]

Am I reading my copy with a good flow or do I sound choppy? Thank you.

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[Gill]

For this read, I hear that you’re trying to make it flow, but there are several things that’s causing it to be choppy. The first is where you’re pausing and the second is where you should have breaths. So be aware of pauses in the copy and make a note of where you should take breaths. Once you have those in the right places it should help your read to flow better.

[LindsayCampbell]

Hi Joyce- this read starts out with a list of 3 items. You ended each at the same pitch. “Instrumentation,” “wheel,” and “seats” we’re all the same note, even though there was a little variety with the other words. I would be conscious of this so it sounds more interesting. “Performance” “excitement” and “commitment to quality” was also the same note at the end of each item. Otherwise, I like your voice, and nice work. There were a couple pauses that made it choppy, but overall had a pretty good flow. 😊

[Elise Duke]

Hi Joyce! I agree with Lindsey on varying your pitch when reading a list within a sentence. I think you can end each word in the list in a slightly different tone – higher, then slightly lower, and so on. I have trouble with this too 🙂 You want your listener to hear the first three items, and think… I get “analog instrumentation?,” “a leather steering wheel??” “AND contoured bucket seats?!?!”… wow I need a Buick!

Keep up the good work!

[Thomas_D]

Very first VO recording with Art Bruder. Healthcare narration

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[LindsayCampbell]

Hey Thomas! Great job with your first recording! I think you sounded natural and believable. Some of your words run together a tiny bit, so be careful of that. “Aetna and Us Healthcare” sounded like “Aetna’n’UShealthcare” -all one word. Hope this helps!

[Thomas_D]

Thanks Lindsay! Similar to Rusty, slowing down for me is the biggest challenge to overcome and what I’ve been working on recently, so this helps a lot!

[rustylj63]

Hey Thomas! Good job. I wonder how it would sound if you stretched it out just a little bit. Maybe slow it down a hair and see which sounds better.

[Thomas_D]

Thanks for the feedback Rusty! I naturally talk really fast so this feedback and challenge is huge!

[Gill]

Hi any feedback welcomed on this read, this is on my phone so don’t need any audio feedback.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 1 month ago by Gill.

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[JoyceVOA]

Pace and diction were good. It sounded like a read, not conversational. You did warm up towards the end.

[RoxyMel]

Hi Gill, I love your voice quality and enunciation! In my opinion, I would probably speed this read up just a slight touch. Good work

[Gill]

Thanks for the feedback I thought it might be a little slow as well.

[LindsayCampbell]

Hi Gill! You have a very pleasing voice. I agree with RoxyMel on speeding it up ever so slightly, but thought it was easy to listen to and was the right persona for your audience. Good job! Very small nit-pick would be the pronunciation of “with.” Sounded like “wid family” the first time you said it, and “wit 100 years” the second. The last time you said it was perfect! “With a financial advisor.” 🙂

[Gill]

Thanks for noticing that, very helpful to me and will be more cautious of it!

[Thomas_D]

Great job Gill! Even though the speed can ramp up a bit, I found the pace super helpful for my own reads, as I tend to read too fast.

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