Feedback Forum
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Man, I swear copywriters should take their scripts and go beta-test them to a random person on the street to see if it sounds normal.
Anyway, here are two commercial scripts. If you listen to them, let me know if the ending of the MILK ad sounds natural. If I sound conversational, the ending slogan sounds less punchy; however, if I really lean into the pitch, then it doesn’t sound normal.
Thoughts?
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What I notice with the Milk read is that every word is really clear, but that in certain cases that clarity seems to be coming at the expense of flow. My hunch is that if you were to do a couple reads where you trust that all of this good work will show up, but throw it away a bit more, you might get a version of the whole thing that feels a little easier and more fluid. I think that goes for the ending slogan as well. I hope that’s helpful.
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Greetings all.. Posting here per my instructor. My first recording. Just getting started using the editing software as well. Feedback is very welcomed. Improvement is always possible.
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I love this read! Your tone and voice quality hit the mark for the subject. In my opinion, you can slow down a little bit at the beginning and give us a little more around some choice words like Nirvana. The second half of the read included your really good emphasis on those types of important and playful words. I also likes that you slowed down the pace a bit in the second half which allowed me to really listen to the content. Great annunciation and emphasis on the final line. This is the story of Hemingway.
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I agree with Nikka that your tone and voice quality are a good fit for this topic. And I also agree you can slow down. In particular, when the script discusses some of the specific things that he enjoyed in Montana (mountains, rivers…), you can take a moment to really visualize them in your mind, and then voice it. That will help you deepen your connection to the script.
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Hello voiceover actors, here’s a commercial read I’m working on. please feel free to give any feedback besides technical. Specifically, I am still working on glottal stops as well as conversational read. Does it sound like I am talking to my friend?
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Hi everyone,
Hope you all doing great! I want feedback on this commercial read. I recorded this on my iphone so the sound quality is err. I’m working on sounding relax and with that I’m also trying not to drop syllables, or the inflections, and also want to know if I pick a good focus on the script.
Thank you, take care everyone!-
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Hi – agreed, you have a very pleasant, relaxed voice…and you can hear that relaxation on the first line, then it gets fast. Almost like you want to finish it quickly.
Take a breath at the end of that first line, stay relaxed. Personally I’d pitch down the “dals” in “Sandals”. Sounds more conversational as, in natural speech, we tend pitch down at the end of phrases.
Keep at it, I think this can be a good read for your voice style!!
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Just experimenting with mixing at the moment.
Not sure if the music is overpowering or under.
Thoughts ?-
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Enjoy listening to your reads!
Just a few notes:
The “t” in retirement is a bit lost.
And – almost sounds like a double “d” on He’d – or is there extraneous click there?
As for the music mix, it’s low enough as to be too distant from the VO. I think if you’re going to use music, it should be more integrated. I would raise the level. All best,
Robert
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