Feedback Forum

[Wes@1972]

Hey guys, continuing my prep for my new narration demo. Thanks for the feedback on my last homework assignment. I appreciate feedback and constructive criticism!

Thanks! Wes

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[Wltrcurtis]

Hi Wes, your reads have a very clear sound and I very much enjoy the tone. The only feedback I could think of was maybe add a little more energy into the read of the Technologies narration. I like the tone of the AetnaUs narration, it was a warmth to the read. It felt personable. Hope this helped.

[rustylj63]

Hey Wes,

I thought you did a really good job on the Aetna read. It sounded like you really cared about the info. The Italy read did not sound very conversational, it sounded measured. I heard a lot of myself in your technologies read. I have a proplem with over-enunciating my words and it sounded a bit like that listening to your read. Now, please understand… I’m very new here and am listening to these as I would my English students oral exams. I may be completely off mark.

Rusty

[Ems412]

Hello Wes,

I agree with Rusty on the Italy read, to me it doesn’t sound like you’re connected with the copy therefore it didn’t come off as conversational. Overall I like the clearness of your voice, pacing, and pitch. I really like the Aetna read.

[chloeblackstone]

Hi everyone! I tried to post yesterday but I don’t see it anywhere on here, so apologies if i double-posted this. Anyway I’m looking for feedback for narration coaching homework. Anything helps! Thanks for listening. -Chloe

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[DillonP]

You have a great voice and sounds perfect. But there is some clicking in the background and much reflection going on in the recording. There is also your tone and emotion which you can put more into. Still keep up the good work.

[chloeblackstone]

thanks much for the tip! Oh yeah i hear the clicking. I forgot to add my little disclaimer of “please dont mind the bad audio it was recorded on my phone!” 🙂

wondering if y’all can pick up on the congestion in my voice, too. i’m having a rough allergy season and i’m trying my best to work through it!

• This reply was modified 3 years, 4 months ago by chloeblackstone.

[rustylj63]

Hi Chloe,

I enjoyed your read of Emily Dickenson. Your tempo and tone were great I thought. I’m a bit of an older guy, so please take that into account with this… you’ve got a great voice, but I might be careful of too much vocal fry. Depending on your audience, it might not be well received. I really enjoyed the read.

Rusty

[chennianen]

You’ve got a really friendly voice that’s very inviting! I really liked both these reads and I think you did an excellent job.

[DillonP]

Hello everyone, Just got a new Narration and Commercial pieces out. Please give out feedback if there are any mistakes I’ve made.

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[Wltrcurtis]

Hi Dillion, I think the ProMist file has two tracks playing on top of each other. As for the Beavers read, I think your pacing and diction are pretty good. The main feedback I would give is that there is a bit of sibilance in the read. Hope this helped.

[DillonP]

Sorry about the mistake that was pointed out with the two take being played at once here is the fixed one.

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[rustylj63]

Hi,

The tempo and tone of your Promist read was good I thought. I had a hard time hearing the words innovative and water though.

Rusty

• This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by rustylj63.
• This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by rustylj63.

[chennianen]

You have a really good voice, but just watch for slurring your words together. Clearer enunciation will really help you!

[Wltrcurtis]

Hi Everyone, I would like feedback on some narration reads. I appreciate any notes or tips that you can offer. I’m mostly hoping for feedback on the read itself rather than technical feedback. Thank you in advance.

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[DillonP]

You did pretty good with both narration pieces. besides the clicking in the background that was good work.

[iSynge]

Hey guys, I’ve got a couple of recordings here that I would like feedback on before my next coaching session.

Thanks for the help!

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[KMcClintock]

Hi iSynge,

I liked both recordings. Churches Chicken is fun copy! I would say for that show more that you know something they don’t know and it is really great. For Butterball, bring more excitement for something that brings out the joys of a holiday, maybe Thanksgiving is your favorite holiday and you love stuff that reminds you of it.
Hope this helps!

[rustylj63]

Hi, I listened to your Church’s Chicken read. You had some trouble with the word probably the second time you said it. Other than that it sounded pretty high energy, right until the very end where it dropped off a bit. I’m really new at this and don’t know what’s expected here, so I’m just putting down what I hear. I hope y’all will do the same for me.

Rusty

[elproschools]

Elpro International School is the Best CBSE Board School in Pune. We offer top class education for students in play school, primary, secondary and Cambridge level education. Vsit: https://www.elproschools.edu.in

[KMcClintock]

Hello everyone,

I have two pieces to share. Let me know if they sound conversational or if the tempo is too fast. Thank you.

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[rustylj63]

Hi, I was just listening to your Motel-6 read. There were a couple of words that sounded run together. Just after you say “Well, Motel 6…” I think you said something about just got a redo to, but it’s kind of run together. I think for Motel-6 it is a bit fast. If you listen to their commercials, they are slow, relaxed, and inviting. I’m very new at this so I could be way off. Just my thoughts.

Rusty

[NishaG]

I love the fun and friendly tone of your voice. You sounded very conversational and inviting in the Motel 6 read, and I really believed that you would “leave the light on” for me. The Milk read also sounded conversational, but I would have liked to hear just a little more enthusiasm. I want to really be able to hear your voice convey that it’s the “energizer you can’t do without.” Also, try not to let some of your words run together. For example, “Need to” and “out of” sounded more like needtuh and outta. I have to watch myself with this too : )

[rustylj63]

Hello Edge Studio Alumni,

I’ve just started coaching and as homework was asked to create and post two readings. I took scripts from the Script Library, I apologize if you’ve heard these a dozen or more times already, but would you please give me your honest feedback on them? I would appreciate that greatly!

I look forward to hearing from you.

Rusty Jones

[rustylj63]

Hello Edge Studio Alumni,

I have just started my training program and was asked by my coach to post two readings here for review, as well as to review some readings. I apologize for selecting two scripts from the library as I’m sure some of you may have heard these before. I hope for your honest feedback, as I will give you.

Thank you,

Rusty

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[Gill]

Rusty,
Nice read on script 1 it was very engaging, pace and tone were great! For script 2 it was alittle difficult the hear the client’s name.

[rustylj63]

Thank you Gill!

[Bil-Bo]

Del Monte
My granddad built this farm way back in the late 1800s. He had a policy of producing only the finest quality fruits and vegetables. That’s why people began to know and enjoy the name Del Monte. … Well, today, the farm is mine — and ya’ know, I still carry on the proud tradition of only the finest fruits and vegetables. DEL MONTE — only the finest.

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[RYoung]

Hey Bill great delivery as usual. Makes me believe you really did inherit the “farm” in how you connect with the script!
Best Rich

[Bil-Bo]

Hey Rich
Thanks for listening and commenting.
BillH

[rustylj63]

Wow, really good job!

[Author]

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