Feedback Forum
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It has been some time but I finally got done editing the latest reads. Both Narration and Commercial. Please listen and give feedback please, Thank you.
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Hi! I think you sounded great on your reads. As for the ESPN read I would slow down when you say the word “ESPN.” It was a little rushed and crammed together as you read over it, remember the brand name should be all nice and pretty when you go through the read. I would also say the same for your Creativity read. Overall it was a good read with a nice pace, but the word “creativity” was ran through too fast. Slow down just a bit and I think you’ll do great!
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I like your voice Dillon- clear and easy to listen to. I agree with the other commenter to just slow down a touch on “ESPN” so that each letter is clearly enunciated. Sounds great!
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Hi! I would love some feedback on these two narration reads: one is corporate explainer and one is documentary. Thanks so much!
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Hey Talia, loved your voice on both reads, as they both sound very welcoming and engaging throughout. I was expecting the documentary to sound a little more low energy than the explainer, but the way you read it also sounded phenomenal.
The only thing that stood out to me as odd was in the explainer read. Toward the end, it sounded like there was an awkward pause between “Select the” and “Add a new account…”
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Hi All,
Here’s two more commercial practice reads. I welcome any and all feedback! Thanks in advance.
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Hello! Thank you so much for previous feedback! I’m working towards my commercial demo. Here are two sample reads. I appreciate any feedback you would like to provide. Thanks again!
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Nikka, Great voice and tone. In the Dupixent ad, I felt your pronunciation of “Dupixent” was a bit harsh. A smoother pronunciation to make it more appealing would be my suggestion. Of course, the advertiser will be listening for that too. The second ad for Loreal seemed more natural. The tone and pace are good. In the phase, “the original brush separates every lash,” I would read “lash” more smoothly. I might also emphasize a bit more the phrase “American’s number one masacara.” Overall, I hear your voice and delivery as very good, but would be even better by smoothing out words that you emphasize.
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Hi all! I am just getting started on my journey and need some honest feedback to help me improve.
Thank you in advance!
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Hi! Welcome to the forum! Just my 2 cents: your reads need to be smoothed out. There was a lot of pauses throughout the read. You’ll definitely want to smooth those out to sound nice and natural. Make sure you sound like you are talking rather than reading as it will make your script sound much better. I would try reading some books or articles and just focus on reading smoothly without those long pauses. Good luck on your journey I wish you well!
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Good work overall! I would pick up the pace on both just a bit. There were a few long pauses in between sentences that could be shortened a bit. The tilex script needed a bit more variation with each sentence. For example the “ugly nasty mold stain” sentence could really get that “Yuck!” tone in your voice to spice up the read. You have a wonderful voice though. Keep up the good work!
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Hi Michele,
I think the Tilex VO is very nice. I have one suggestion. Sometimes you can look at these VO’s like a piece of music. In your Tilex VO, you hit very close to the same note at :14 – “reach” – and at about :24 “roots.” If you vary the pitch of these, I think the VO will sound more varied overall. On the Jack Daniels, I agree with Graceson that you may have slowed down a little too much. The script is going for a slower country feel, and in fact, if there was music and imagery, your pace might fit perfectly – but without those, you probably want to pause a little less. If you have a moment, I’d be very grateful for your thoughts on my Volcano VO – just posted today. Thank you!
Robert-
Thank you Robert! I appreciated your tip to think of the script as a piece of music and the specifics you provided in your feedback. I think visualizing scripts in that way is going to be a nice help to me! If I were to re-submit these reads, I’d definitely pick up the pace on them and decrease the pauses. Really appreciate the time you took to listen and provide your thoughts. I commented on volcano, but my apologies, I think I wrote to Graceon instead of replying directly to you. I tried to edit it but am not seeing my edited version appearing.
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Hey Graceson,
I like this read a lot. Selling me on the intuition (even though I use razor blades). Couple of notes: Soap opera is obviously an important play on words here. I hear an ever so slight glottal stop between soap and opera, and I think this would sound better if you ran those words together. Your inflection is great throughout, like at :12 “You’ll never” – and at the end, “shaving’s never been so simple.” If you have a moment, I would welcome your comments on the Volcano VO I just posted. Thank you!
Robert -
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I’d love a little help on my homework/some feedback if anyone has a few moments to spare!
Thanks all!
Annella
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Hi Anella, I think you capture very effectively the tone of a corporate in-house read. (I’ve listened to tons of those). I have just a few notes:
1. :08 future “together” – the “er” sounds like it’s coming from he back of your mouth, which skews a little younger than I would expect from a company voice over. So, I’d say practice and listen to this word ending and try saying it more from the front of your mouth and see if you prefer that difference.
2. I think you start with a good sense of the company’s conviction – and you end on a strong note. But in the middle between about :31 and :42, you seem to lose that focus a bit. I think this is where the VO is really building, and you need to sustain the sense of mission. This is a challenge, because they’re talking about being the greatest company in history.That’s it, and if you have a moment, please take a listen and send me your thoughts on my Volcano VO – just posted. Wishing you all the best,
Robert
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Hello VO artists,
I would love some feedback on this VO about an erupting volcano. Welcome any of your thoughts about pacing, whether or not it’s conversational enough…and any other critiques (or even praise) that might occur to you. Thank you!-
Hi! Good read overall! I seem to be picking up on some breath sounds. Would work on controlling them during the read and also editing them from future recordings.
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Hi Artist7,
Thanks very much for your feedback. My coach suggested leaving in a hint of the breaths, rather than taking them out completely. She said that if they’re entirely removed, you sound like an automaton rather than a human. Is that your understanding of it? Or, do you think the breaths should be taken out completely? Curious about your take on that. All the best,
Robert -
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Hey RCampos! You have a very captivating voice! I think what would help the read is a bit more connection with the material. The tone was a little flat through out, I would try picking a tone such as “mysterious” and then trying to incorporate that into the read. I would also say that the read needs a bit more smoothness. Think of speaking to a person when reading the script rather than just reading should help. The only way to get smoother with reading is to just read more lol! You have a great voice I could seriously watch a documentary narrated by you! Keep up the hard work!
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Hi Graceson- I enjoyed listening to your read and appreciated your tone, including how it was serious when discussing destruction and economic impact. It sounded respectful while not too flat or conversely, overly emotional. Pacing felt like it could be smoothed out a touch, but it sounds like that would come naturally with familiarity with the script. Nice job!
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